Friday, May 8, 2015

forget the calendar

I'm not a big fan of giving gifts or sending cards just because of some date on the calendar. Mother's Day is problematic for me for various reasons. Though I had loving parents, I spent most of my childhood in school dorms, and after I reached adulthood, my mother and I mostly lived on opposite sides of the Pacific. Then she died much earlier than she should have, leaving behind far too few memories to comfort me.

Furthermore, I certainly don't want my own kids (both of whom I kept close to my side while they were growing up) to express any appreciation they might have for me just because it's "Mother's Day." Although.... if that's the only day I can get any appreciation (assuming I deserve any), I will take it gratefully.

So, back to my own mother. One of the few-but-sweet memories I have of very early childhood is of my mother singing to us kids after she had tucked us in bed. I would sing those same songs softly to myself in later childhood, and even as late as early adulthood, during lonely or desperate nights when I lived far from home among strangers in a land that was strange to me.


  1. Beautiful Debbie, I relate on some of the same levels. Boarding school an 8 and more. Happy Mother's Day, I am betting it made you an even better Mother. ♥

  2. An etegami with mixed feelings for you, but what a beauty !

  3. This is so poignant in light of the female whales beaching themselves in California right now. Beautiful, Debbi. Thank you.

  4. I really like this post. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings. I feel the same way about Mother's Day. I've always said that every day is mother's day. I dutifully send Mother's Day cards to my mother, who expected them, and even now with her at 101 years of age and not aware of much, but I didn't train my children to pay attention to that day on the calendar. I started to send THEM mother's day cards when they were older, maybe in college,and they appreciate that. They do sweet things for me all year long and I appreciate that. I love your whale image very much. Happy EVERY day to you!

  5. Hello, I love this post and your drawing. I found your blog while googling etegami. I would love the etegami drawings. Your whale are adorable. Have a great day!

    1. Thank you for your comments on multiple posts. I'm interested to know how why you were googling etegami and how you learned about it. :)