the fathers in our lives (2)

snowshoer daruma for my husband

angler daruma for my father

photographer daruma for my father-in-law

the fathers in our lives (part 1)

from the June 2012 issue of Gekkan Etegami

Gekkan Etegami, the Japan Etegami Society's official monthly magazine, always features Father's Day etegami in their June issue. I want to share some pages from my copy of this month's issue, to show you how a handmade Father's Day card (especially if it's etegami) beats any commercially-produced greeting card, regardless of your drawing skills. I also want you to see what the Japan Etegami Society considers to be good examples of traditional etegami. Maaaaybe you will find that the works which used to impress you the most --the ones with refined drawings and elegant writing-- are not the ones that the official etegami magazine would feature in its pages. Do you have any thoughts on why this should be so?

I'll post a few of the pages whole, and then zoom in on a few individual etegami to describe them in greater detail.

a child's wooden clogs

The artist remembers her father as being skilled with his hands. For this etegami, she painted a pair of her childhood clogs, one of them turned over. I imagine her father used to repair the ties of her clogs whenever they would break or come undone. The words on the card say "Father, I still have these clogs."

a traditional carpentry tool

This etegami depicts a handmade tool used in traditional Japanese carpentry that the family has kept as a memento of their father. The artist remembers fondly how her father supported his large family with his carpentry skills. The words on the card say "It still conveys the warmth of your hands."

an igo board

The artist's father loves to play igo, the Japanese version of checkers. The words on the card speak of the day her father won their prefecture's annual senior citizen's tournament. She says the smile on her father's face wrapped her whole family in happiness.

freshly-dug bamboo shoot

The words on the card say "Our dinners are delicious and plentiful, thanks to Dad's homegrown vegetables."

dish used on a Buddhist memorial altar

The card says "You died and went to heaven before we ever met, and yet I'm always bothering you with prayers for help. It's thanks to you, Father-in-law, that we've been able to overcome some difficult times." You may wonder how she can send a Father's Day card to one who is no longer living. She will probably set this card on the household altar where the family ancestors are worshiped.

ripe persimmon on a branch

The woman who painted this etegami tells of the day she went shopping for a picture frame for her artist husband. She wasted a lot of time because she had so much trouble making up her mind. She went home and explained this to her husband, who responded with the words she quotes on this card: "I never had the slightest doubt about who I wanted to marry, you said to me. I will always treasure those words."

a fistful of regrets

So far we've seen cards drawn by sons and daughters for their fathers, a daughter-in-law for her father-in-law, and a wife for her husband. Finally, I want to show you a card that a father drew about himself, probably for his son. It shows a fist, and it says "If only I hadn't hit you that day. If only I had given you a big hug instead. If only that day, I had taken you out to play. Now it's too late!" Perhaps his son has died. Perhaps they are just estranged from one another. If they are only estranged, I hope he will send the card to his son. Would you find a card like this at Hallmarks?

the four scariest things in life

Here's another daruma doll etegami for you from my Father's Day series. The hand-made card, made from recycled papers, is stiff and bumpy, and repels the inks and colors I usually use for etegami. So I drew the simple image and the words with a black permanent marker.

The writing quotes an old Japanese expression: Jishin, Kaminari, Kaji, Oyaji (Earthquake, Lightning, Fire, and Dad), a list of four of the most terrifying things in life. I first heard it as a child when it was used as the title of a TV drama featuring a fiercely despotic father. Very recently, I was rooting through some linguistic archives on the internet, and I discovered that the word oyaji, as used in this particular expression, is not the word oyaji that means "Dad," but is rather a mutated form of Oo-yama-ji (big-mountain-storm), which used to be another word for Typhoon!  I asked my Japanese friends if they were aware of the original meaning of this once-common expression, and even the oldest among them had never doubted the oyaji = dad interpretation. Probably because they all grew up in an age when "Dad" really did belong on a list of life's most terrifying things.

For those who haven't been following my blog long enough to understand what the daruma dolls represent, or why I find them fascinating, you can catch up a bit by reading one of my earliest Daruma posts. (click here)

illustration friday (sight)

There was a time, not very long ago, when Japan's hard-working lower and middle classes loved to quote, and certainly believed in, the expression kodomo wa chichioya no senaka o mite sodatsu (a child grows into adulthood by watching his/her father's back).  The idea is that a child learns a great deal about life, responsibility, honor, and well...basically all the virtues of responsible adulthood, from watching the back of his/her father, even if they rarely spend time with him face to face. Watching the back of a father who lacked those virtues is also, for better or for worse, an education.

I myself grew up in the days up to and including Japan's phenomenal economic growth of the mid-to-late 1900s. My friends rarely saw their fathers, who worked from early to late each day, and "weekend" was only a vague, foreign concept. But, both literally and figuratively, the children watched their fathers' backs, and from these backs they learned many of life's lessons.

Young parents of 21st century Japan, for the most part, believe in fathers being more actively involved in raising the kids, and (partly as a result of the burst of the economic bubble) the workplace is no longer the center of their lives. The above-mentioned expression continues to be quoted, however, as a reminder that the children are always watching... and learning.